Thursday, August 20, 2009

Highly paid expert consultant!

I got some email from someone at DeMatteo Monness a month ago. They're a "a boutique primary research firm and full service broker-dealer serving the institutional investment fund community." They were looking for someone with expertise in the things I know about (board games and porn?*).

I spent 20 minutes with my initial contact there talking about my experience, what I know about the things they were interested in etc. At that point I thought "Wait a minute, I'm not being paid and I want to get back to work!" So I interrupted the conversation to let the interviewer know I needed to get back to work, and to ask "How much will this pay?" As it turns out they pay $300/hour. I quit griping and said "No problem!"

The first call fell through because I didn't have the specific company experience that their client wanted. D'oh. Another of their clients was interested in talking to me. I joked with Kelly and our friend Alan about how I'd speak really slowly and make crazy references to drag the call out (more money!). "Okay, are you guys familiar with the show Seinfeld? Do you remember there was the tall guy and he would suddenly burst into Jerry's apartment? What was his name?" "Yeah, that was Kramer." "No, that's not it. The guy with the crazy hair." "His name is Kramer." "Was it Carl?" You get the idea.

Even with my excellent money-making plan ready-to-go I ended up skipping that and answering their questions. I didn't even mention Seinfeld once. Anyway, it was fun and went well. Although since I knew someone was paying $300/hour that caused me to speak really quickly without realizing it until later. I didn't want them to waste their money! Ha.

* What!? No, more like mobile apps and casual games. And porn. I'll be here all week folks. Thank you, and good night!

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