Gmail is down?

Gmail is down so I'm reading my email with the webmail browser for my site. It's not-so-good. Also, apparently GMail filters out the spam that normally gets delivered to me but now I'm stuck reading it. Today's spam highlight:

Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later... We has attached photo of your fume

"We has attached photo of your fume?" WTF is that? I know whoever wrote this doesn't speak English as a first or second language. But still. "Fume?" Weird. If I translate it back and forth with an online translation site I get this:

We there are attached photo of your smokes.

This is pretty fantastic and makes more sense. Of course if you've hijacked* my baby I'm definitely going to want a smoke. It's almost ensured once I see that picture of my very own smokes. I bet this is a ploy from the cigarette companies to get me to smoke. I'm too scared to open the attachment so we'll never know. Stupid cigarette companies.

* Not "Kidnapped," but "Hijacked." What are they gonna do, like fly my baby somewhere? If my baby flew I wouldn't be wasting time on the internet. I'd be making millions from Eric's All-New Flying Baby Cirque Du Soleil. "Come for the flying baby, stay for the weird clowns"